Last night my wife and I were watching A Muppets Christmas: Letters To Santa
with our three kids (a 5 year old girl and twin 3 year olds, a girl & boy). The kids LOVED
the part where the Muppets missed their opportunity to get their letters to the Post Office on time, so they decide to take a trek to the North Pole to deliver them to Santa in person. Being the curious guy that I am, I started wondering what those Muppet characters might be asking Santa for. Then, being the Disney-obsessed curious guy that I am, I started asking myself what some Disney characters would write to ask Santa Claus for this year. Here’s what I came up with: Disney Characters’ Letters To Santa.
I’m so excited for Christmas this year! I’ve been very good, or at least that’s what my three aunts have been telling me. All I really want for Christmas is some new clothes. I’ve been wearing the same old outfits for years, but my aunts have told me that there’s nowhere to buy a spinning wheel anywhere in the kingdom. Can this possibly be true, Santa? What I wouldn’t give to be able to make a new pink or blue dress to wear for my sixteenth birthday! I could show it to this handsome boy I met while out gathering berries in the woods. Okay Santa, I better go now. I hear some strange commotion coming from inside our cottage, and my aunts are usually very quiet. Have a Merry Christmas!
Greetings Santa Claus,
This year I deserve plenty of presents since I have been my fantastic and incredible self for yet another year. I fully expect a shiny new musket under my tree along with a new belt, as I broke my old one while performing amazing feats of strength while singing in my tavern. I would ask for your help in getting the girl of my dreams to fall in love with me, but, come on! We both know that’s just a matter of time and she won’t be able to deny my advances for much longer! I also require a larger mirror so that I can share my beautiful reflection with a much larger audience. The only thing better than looking at one of me is looking at two of me! Also, Santa, don’t touch the eggs or milk that are in my kitchen. I did not make you cookies and I need them for my Christmas morning protein!
Your Handsome Hero,
Dear Father Christmas,
Baah. The only reason I am writing this letter is to let you know not to come to my house this Christmas Eve. I do NOT want to participate in any silly gift-giving or gift-getting traditions. I will not be leaving any milk or cookies out for you since that would cost me extra shillings that I simply cannot spare this time of year. Also, please reimburse me for the cookies and milk you took from my home when I was a child. I was impressionable and did not yet understand the magnitude of my actions when I left them for you. Please keep this letter to use year after year as I don’t want to waste money on the ink and quill over future Christmases.
Ebeneezer Scrooge McDuck
Dear Santa Cl…
I’m writing because I have a good friend and all he wants for Christmas is to find his son, Fabio. I met him the other day while I was out for a swim and, wait, I wasn’t out too far, far rhymes with star and oh, I saw a star once while I was at the surface looking up into the sky! So wait, why am I writing? Oh, I am writing because…wait, I know how to write? Look at me, I can write! I didn’t remember that I knew how to write. Well, I don’t remember much of anything because I have no short-term memory, it’s kind of a big problem. I hear something and then I just forget about it right away. I don’t mean to. Ooh, ooh, look, I know how to write! Did you know that I knew how to write? I mean, how would you know, I just figured it out myself! Now that I can write, I should write a letter to Santa for my friend so he can find his son…what’s his name?
Oh, Hi, My Name’s Dory!
Dear Big Guy,
Hey. How’re things at the North Pole? Things here have been going okay. You probably have been keeping an eye on the whole situation. Look, uh, I’d like to think I’m a nice guy. I was going along with what she said for the good of the kingdom. The poison? Yeah. Totally her idea. I did come up with the idea for the dinner and spinach puff appetizer though. I think I get should get some points for that. The truth is I’ve been cleaning up my life after the whole “attempting to kill the Emperor” thing and I think it’s going well. High Fives all around if I see you this Christmas Eve! All I really want for Christmas is some cooking classes to make my dream of opening my own diner a reality. That and maybe some dumbbells to work on the upper body.
Thanks Pal. Merry Christmas.
See? Disney characters are just like us! They all try really hard and did their absolute best to be good people all year long. Sometimes they slip up just like we do but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a nice gift or two under their trees on Christmas morning! Mickey deserves some cheese, Pluto may need a new bowl or collar, and I’m sure Pinocchio needs a little bit of sandpaper to take a few inches off of his nose this year! I covered only a few characters, so what do YOU think some Disney characters will have on their letters to Santa this Christmas?
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