The time has finally come: you are taking your children to Walt Disney World. I'm sure you can't wait to experience all of the attractions, shows, fireworks, and pure Disney magic alongside your children at the Walt Disney World Resort. Of course you're going for them and want them to have the absolute best vacation ever. But what about you? Don't you deserve a little “adult time” while on your vacation? I mean, you worked really, really hard to get to WDW and you deserve a little break too. You'll just need to find someone to watch the kids while you're off enjoying a fine dining restaurant or a couple adult beverages over in Epcot's World Showcase. Sure, Disney recommends their independent babysitters at Kid's Nite Out, and they are fantastic and definitely worth looking into on your next Walt Disney World Vacation. If they aren't available, however, you might start thinking of finding a Disney character who may watch your children for you. Good idea or bad idea aside, here are a few Disney Characters Who'd Make Terrible Babysitters.
Sebastian from The Little Mermaid –
Look, sixteen year old girls aren't very easy to keep an eye on. They can be a challenge for even the most seasoned adults. They sneak out at night, don't always follow the rules, and love to defy their parents just to get a rise out of them. The thing is, Sebastian didn't really have THAT difficult of a job. He was asked to keep an eye on Ariel and to make sure she didn't go to the surface of the ocean and interact with humans. To me, that's not all that challenging. It's like telling your child's babysitter not to let your child go off into space while you're out at Ruby Tuesday enjoying your cheeseburger. But Sebastian failed miserably. Not only did Ariel return to the surface, she signed a contract with an evil sea witch, agreed to give up her voice and had an entire body transformation, all while Sebastian was off doing who knows what. I wouldn't have been all that upset if Chef Louis had actually succeeded in serving him for dinner at Prince Eric's castle. Do yourself a favor: if you're going out in Walt Disney World, order the crab dip, and don't ever let Sebastian keep an eye on any of your little ones.
Wendy Darling from Peter Pan –
First of all, Wendy isn't even 13 years old just yet, so why you'd trust her with your kids while you're at Splitsville is already a bit of an issue. But let's just say you decided she was mature enough to handle the job (her father felt like she was too old to stay in the Darling's nursery, after all). Let's be honest, she did a horrible job looking after her little brothers in London way back in 1900. She let a couple of strangers in their nursery who may or may not have been dangerous individuals, she then let those strangers sprinkle some type of foreign substance onto her and her brothers which made them fly and not only around the room but out their window, over the streets of London, and off to a far away land. I'm not sure if I'd want that text or call from my kids while I was out trying to enjoy myself. “Dad, yes, we're in Neverland, but Wendy and Peter said they will have us back by morning.” Sure, it would allow me to stay out a little bit later, but would you trust that Wendy and her newfound, never aging friend would get your children back to your hotel room in one piece? I wouldn't, and that's why Wendy would be out as a babysitter in my eyes.
Ma Beagle from Ducktales –
Let's start with the positives: Ma Beagle cares about her sons, she strives for perfection and productivity (she's a little bit like a criminal Mary Poppins in that way), and she never, ever gives up. Now that brings us to the negatives: she has seven sons with no mention of a father (that's not a great role model for my daughters), she is a serial bank robber, and she is constantly helping her convicted felon sons escape from maximum security prisons. It's up to you whether you want to focus more on her good qualities than her bad qualities, but I just don't think she'd make a very good babysitter in Walt Disney World. Sure, you might just be out a few hours, but who knows what she's teaching your children in that time-frame?! Maybe they are learning to build those old-timey cannon ball looking bombs with the fuse sticking out of them. Maybe they are practicing baking cakes with nail files or other weapons concealed inside. Or hey, maybe they are just learning how to bake regular old cupcakes. The thing is, I'm not willing to take the chance that her influence won't make my children turn into violent bank robbers. Are you?
Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio –
Much like Sebastian who I talked about earlier, Jiminy Cricket is tasked with keeping an eye on Pinocchio and making sure he makes the right choices. As Pinocchio's Conscience, Jiminy does a truly awful job. He lets Pinocchio get duped twice by Honest John and Gideon, allows him to be captured and almost turned into firewood by Stromboli, and then somehow isn't paying attention when Pinocchio is turned halfway into a donkey at Pleasure Island. Some Conscience! Just imagine getting back from your wonderful dinner at Big River Grille over at Disney's Boardwalk and seeing your children lying in bed with tails and long donkey ears. I think you may have a problem with that because I know I would! I think I'd rather have Stromboli watch my kids! At least he'd keep them confined to one place (I know, I know, kids shouldn't be in little cages, but I'd be confident that I knew where they were!)
Geppetto from Pinocchio –
You know what, now that I have my brain focused on Pinocchio,
I can't stop thinking about how terrible a babysitter Geppetto would be. All the guy ever wanted was a son. For whatever reason, he was never able to have one of his own, so he decides to make one out of wood. The Blue Fairy sees this and thinks, “Hey, he's a good person. I'll help him out.” She gives Pinocchio life and promises that if he's good and honest someday he'll be a real boy. So what does Geppetto do on that first day he actually has a living, breathing son after all those years? Gives him some books, an apple, and sends him off to school with a cricket as a conscience so he (Geppetto) can get on with his own life. Does that sound like someone you'd trust your children with? I think the Blue Fairy made a HUGE mistake in character judgement here. I really think Geppetto would have been better off with the wooden puppet of a son. It seems to me that all the old man wants to do is get back to making clocks and hanging out with his cat and goldfish. If I'm going to Walt Disney World, I'd never trust Geppetto babysitting my children!
The next time you're in Walt Disney World for a vacation and you are looking for a night out without your little ones, give Kid's Nite Out a call! These Disney characters seem like they'd make pretty lousy alternatives to the fun babysitters that they will send directly to your room! And the characters I mentioned only scratch the surface of the horrible babysitters in Disney's cast of characters. Who'd want Belle to watch their children? The girl can't get her nose out of a book long enough to accomplish anything! Sure, Aurora seems like she'd be a sweet, upbeat babysitter, but she falls into a coma with one prick of her finger on a spinning wheel. What happens if your child gets a bloody nose? I think we know the answer to that one already! How about Jane, from Tarzan?
Sure, she's prim, proper, and sweet, but she also has a dirty, constantly near-naked boyfriend who may or may not bring jungle animals into the room. Stick with the professionals, people, and leave the Disney characters in the parks!
Thanks for reading along with my silly list of Disney Babysitters! I'm sure I missed quite a few, however. Which Disney characters do YOU think would make terrible babysitters? Please respond with your answer here on this page, respond over on Facebook HERE
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