Over the last 80+ years, Disney has introduced us to some pretty amazing characters including a ton of very eligible bachelorettes. If my son (in the future, of course…he’s 4 1/2) decided to bring many of these ladies home for Sunday dinner, I’d be thrilled. Of course, there are a few that I wouldn’t be so excited about. Let’s check out some Disney Characters I Would NOT Want My Son To Date.
Tiana from The Princess and The Frog – Let’s be honest, Tiana has a lot going on in her life. She works two full time jobs that we know of, has dreams of opening a restaurant that have completely taken over every thought she has, and is a bit of a dreamer. She even kisses a frog, thinking he will turn into a prince, and, well…you know how the story goes from there. I can’t have my son mixed up in all of this. With her two jobs she’ll never be around and with her head in the clouds she’ll never be able to see where she’s going! Tiana might make a wonderful girlfriend for someone once she has her stuff together, but I’d be upset if my son brought her to dinner (unless she was the one doing the cooking…then I might be cool!)
Nani Pelekai from Lilo & Stitch – Do I really even have to go into detail on poor Lilo’s older sister, Nani? The girl is a mess. Unlike Tiana, she can’t even hold one job, she allows Lilo to adopt a darn alien as a pet, and she nearly has her little sister taken away from her by the State and Cobra Bubbles. Not to mention she’s a terrible cook, has a bit of a temper, and oh yeah, she allows her house to be destroyed by creatures while Lilo is right there! I know she’s trying her best but she’s just not responsible at all, and that’s a serious issue. Plus, she lives in Kauai, and my son kind of already listens to everything the women in his life tell him to do (his mom, both of his sisters…) so I can see him totally skipping town and heading for the Garden Isle. I have to say I’d be pretty disappointed if he brought Nani home.
Ariel from The Little Mermaid – I know what you’re saying: “You’re crazy! Ariel would be the perfect date or girlfriend for your son in the future!” Well, hear me out. Ariel has a lot of positives, sure. But there is one thing I simply can never get out of my head that you might have overlooked, so I just want to bring it to your attention now. Ariel signs a deal with Ursula that gives the Sea Witch her voice for three days. During these three days, Ariel needs to make Prince Eric fall in love with her. She’s not able to talk so she can’t just tell Eric that she’s the girl that saved him from the shipwreck, which makes sense. But here’s my problem: she SIGNED the contract! She obviously knows how to write! Why can’t she just write Prince Eric a note that says something like: “Dear Eric, remember when you were saved the other day by a mermaid who looked EXACTLY like me? Yep, that was me! I just don’t have a voice but we can talk ALL about it in three days!” It’s a huge red flag to me that she can’t figure this out and therefore I think she and my son would have some pretty major communication issues. Ariel’s out!
Cinderella – This one is easy. The girl can’t even remember her shoe at a party. How is she going to remember important things like birthdays, anniversaries, bills to be paid, or even day to day activities? What about when she parks her car at the mall (most likely to buy new shoes)? Will she be the girl who calls mall security who then will have to drive her around the parking lot for three hours looking for her car (or carriage?) Cinderella just seems like she’d be WAY too much trouble to deal with as a date.
Anna from Frozen – Two words: Stalker Alert! I know the girl has been basically locked in a castle for her entire life but she wants to meet a guy and fall in love SO badly that she agrees to marry the first guy she meets within hours of meeting him. What kind of crazy stalker does something like that?! I know, I know…Hans was ultimately setting her up so he could kill her sister and take over the kingdom for himself, but still, that’s the problem! Not only is she desperate for a husband, she’s also a really easy mark for anyone who’s looking to pull a fast one! Listen, she seems like a nice girl who might get it together one day, but the stalker-eque qualities combined with the sister who may or may not be a little out of control with her ice powers is a big issue for me. What if my son breaks Anna’s heart someday? Would you want these two sisters cooking up some kind of revenge plot against your kid? I sure wouldn’t, which is why I’ll make sure my son steers clear of Anna in the future!
Look, maybe it’s just me, but I think there are plenty of other Disney character fish in the sea for my son to date someday. Real go-getters like Anastasia or Druzilla (would do anything for a date with an important guy, including being perpetually mean to their stepsister; that shows initiative!), Megara from Hercules (the girl knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to make a deal with the Lord of the Underworld to get it), or Cruella De Vil (loaded!). I just want the best for my son, is that so wrong?!
If you enjoyed this article, check out my other articles about my daughters and who I would and wouldn’t set them up with: